Before Future Actions, Let’s Ask Good Questions Now
Coaching Tip #26
I believe that in a life well-lived we all experience many ends. As the end of one experience unravels, there are threads that can be raveled into a new experience. This is true whether the ending is the hard stop of daily action, or is a deeper awareness that demands a shift toward a new perspective.
We are currently witnessing threads of society unravel and re-ravel into new awareness. This change and incredible activism will create a new mosaic for so many whose lives have been adversely affected by white privilege. That is a good thing.
I fall into the category of white privilege, although before the last two weeks, I would not have thought that. I am reading, listening and learning – and this is all part of my growth. What I am not doing right now is suggesting solutions. I am not qualified to do that.
It can be a habit of highly successful people to want to find solutions, to provide answers to tough problems. The danger is in jumping to answers before we have asked the right questions. We must explore the questions beyond “How can I help?” Although I want to get to this state, what I really need now is to understand better and more completely.
This coaching tip is designed as a challenge for each reader, whether you work in an organization or participate with your community to think about the questions that might be asked of our black friends in order to lead to a deeper understanding.
I have Q-stormed* some questions to get us going. Not all questions will hit the mark and some of these may seem incredibly obvious, but I would challenge all of us not to make quick assumptions, but rather let those who have experience and wisdom provide their insight.
What is your personal experience with racial injustice?
At what age did you first become aware of it?
Are there examples that you are willing to share with me?
Are there positive examples in which you feel support from the non-black community that we need to do more of?
What are your thoughts when you go to bed each night?
One year from now what are some positive changes that you hope will have occurred that will lead to successful outcomes?
What obstacles can get in the way of this change.
How have you felt left out or passed over at any time? Are you willing to share those experiences with me?
What are your values and how are these showing up in today’s environment?
What mistakes have you seen made? How do you see they could be corrected?
What shuts down the conversations?
What are three goals that we as a just society should strive toward?
What are the questions we are not asking?
This is a new beginning. The middle will feel messy. The end goal is to create positive change.
Please feel free to add your own questions to this list. If you email me, I will add your questions and email the growing list to anyone who requests it.
Melinda
*Marilee Adam’s in her book “Change Your Questions, Change Your Life” coined the art of Q-Storming (a registered trademark), which is similar to brainstorming but only focuses on asking questions.