Making a Point
Coaching Tip #38
We all have a point of view, and that’s a good thing. But like all things good, there are shadows. This coaching thought explores the pros and cons of viewpoints.
Before we dissect the good, the bad, and the ugly of a viewpoint, we need to step back and understand what makes up a particular viewpoint.
Our views consist of the experiences we’ve had. They’re not just physical experiences. They also consist of our thoughts, developed both from our individual experiences and those that have been passed on to us from previous generations. Additionally, our viewpoints are formed from the social fabric and connections we have to like-minded individuals – all of which reinforces our perspective through these other voices, actions, and subtle nods of agreement.
The good: Whether you are in business, the medical field, a parent, or a teacher, a viewpoint is critical. It helps us understand data, make decisions, and set boundaries. Viewpoints can become parameters for others to learn. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross, for example, gives us a compelling viewpoint of grief.
The bad: If your viewpoint does not allow for nuance, you can slip into a state of assumptions and ignorance. If a colleague of yours has just received bad news, based on your viewpoint of handling bad news, you may not approach the situation in a way that actually benefits or supports that person. This is when viewpoints can create tension and erode relationships.
The ugly: When your viewpoint becomes the right viewpoint, with no wiggle room for a differing perspective, it’s a sure sign of a fixed mindset. You are really telling the people around you that you are above them, and that their knowledge and experience does not matter as much as yours does. Your self-worth can become intertwined with a belief that there is no way your opinion could be wrong. You stop listening to others and become righteous. It’s a dangerous, and potentially destructive place to be.
Searching for and understanding the viewpoints of others is the sign of a growth mindset. Here are 3 tips to promote that.
Warren Buffet uses a phrase when assessing an organization: Invert the logic! Take this advice to heart. Write down your assumptions and then search for information that butts up against that logic. Seek out opposing views. Open up the possibilities that your assumptions might be wrong.
Tread lightly and be willing to hold back on your opinions. In the case of your colleague, don’t try to fix their problem – just be present with them as they come to terms with a new reality. At some point you can offer help in a non-intrusive way: “As you talk I hear you searching for answers. I want you to know that I am happy to help you brainstorm solutions, but I also want to respect your process. Sometimes we just need to vent before we are ready to act. Is this where you are right now?”
Stretch your viewpoints. Step outside your comfort zone. Walk in a world unfamiliar to you. Approach someone who has had a different experience. Be open to their thoughts. Don’t jump into a debate – question, listen and learn first. By doing this, you are expanding your social fabric, acknowledging other perspectives, and creating connections in your brain to previously unfamiliar information.
See the new points I’m trying to make here? :)
Melinda