Hurdles and Turtles
Coaching Tip # 56
Hurdles are the challenges we face as we move through the events of our lives. A hurdle defined for our purposes is an obstacle or difficulty faced by an individual or a group.
We can place the type of hurdles we each experience on a continuum from minor to major. How we feel about and handle our hurdles depends on your past experiences, your current circumstances and your current emotional state. A minor hurdle for one person can be a major hurdle for someone else.
People who are facing hurdles need the help of turtles, especially if those hurdles loom large.
In our childhood literature, the turtle symbolizes a patient and wise creature that does not rush to a conclusion but rather looks at the big picture and then determines how best to survive for the long run.
Turtles know how to offer the right kind of support at the right time in the right moment of need. The turtle knows the “we” is more important than the “me”.
They know that some people thrive chasing and facing hurdles. Put an obstacle in front of them and they will find a way to jump over it. When they fail, they get up and try again. Other people have an incredible capacity to handle them but are not a seeker of hurdle after hurdle. They savor the challenge but enjoy the journey. And others still need encouragement over the first few and with that turtle support find their footings, gain confidence and develop the courage to continue.
Just because you love hurdles does not mean you can’t put on a turtle hat to help. You can. However, in that moment of need, this may require you to put aside your own natural behaviors aside. Here are some reminders on how to do that.
Acknowledge to yourself what your situational goal is. Forward progression is important to you so be clear and articulate on what you are trying to accomplish by being a turtle. Ask yourself if you are offering support, mentorship, coaching or leadership. And then stick to that lane.
Be in the moment. Although your intentions are worthy, if your attention shifts to another matter (a text message, your watch, another person) or your actions show frustration or impatience, your goal will likely be compromised. People pick up on the subtle signs of engagement and that affects trust and the ability to be vulnerable.
Ask permission to act in the capacity of a turtle. Just as you need to be clear on your role, so do the individuals that you wish to guide. Remember they are accustomed to your natural tendencies. By asking permission, you are respecting the individual, asking them to trust you and shifting their expectations of your “turtle” behavior.
Meet the person or team where they are at not where you want them to be at. The ability to do this separates the wise turtles from the wannabe turtles. Wannabe turtles want to fix someone. No one wants to be told they need to be “fixed”, but most of us welcome a form of guidance. Before you jump in with a quick solution, ask yourself if you have heard what the issue is and importantly, where the individual is at.