Procrastination
Coaching Tip #50
Words matter, especially the words you say to yourself! This week’s coaching tip further explores this thought.
The act of procrastination is a challenge we all have experienced at some point. Delaying or postponing the tasks we know need to get done, can result in an intense internal and negative dialogue.
Stop and consider the internal chatter you engage in when you find yourself avoiding that actionable first step. Do any of these phrases ring a bell: “I just can’t get going”, or “I always leave things to the last moment”, “I know I should but…”, “I am not organized” or the extreme versions like “I’m such a failure”. There are a variety of ways that we all criticize ourselves. But all of these silent words that cycle through our heads have one thing in common - they all begin with the word the word “I”.
This type of communication is not helping you.
These “I statements”, regardless of your choice of words, are sending your brain a message: I am not enough.
This is far from the truth. But to change the message our “itty bitty shitty committee” is sending us we must” interrupt it and engage the rational part of our brain. Here are 2 suggestions to try.
1. Focus of becoming aware of the word “I”. Drop it as the first word in the sentence. Instead ask yourself …
What is stopping me from starting?
Is there something I do not understand?
Is there something I am worried about?
Am I feeling overwhelmed?
Who can I ask for help from?
By checking in on the answers to these questions you can determine if there is an underlying concern that is creating your experience of procrastination. There are situations where the reason for not doing something has more to do with figuring out the root cause to why you have not starting. Once you have an awareness of this, you can deal with it and move forward.
2. Ask yourself if you really are procrastinating, or is it something else? In my case, many times when my internal chatter shouts out “procrastinator”, the creative part of my brain is actually being an “incubator”.
I battle this each week as I work on my coaching tip. By sharing my experience, I hope that you might consider if your procrastinator is really an incubator.
My goal is to produce an insightful coaching tip each Thursday. I have a list of topics that I think will be helpful and I also have a list of potential topics that some of you given me. Monday, I choose the topic and start to write. And then I get stuck. And then comes those negative thoughts: What am I trying to say? Why is this useful? Will it resonate? Do these actually help people? So, I stop writing, knowing full well that I have a deadline ahead of myself. (which creates more critical thoughts).
But what I have realized over the last 6 months is that while I am not writing, my brain is magically organizing my thoughts. I call this my incubator side of my brain; it keeps going - pondering the structure, the antidotes, the message. And I have learned that when a random point pops into my head during the day (or night), I must jot it down. Occasionally I have a series of thoughts that lead me in a completely different direction than my original intention. I let my intuition take over. And then when I am ready, I return to the computer, grateful for this incubator side of my brain and write.
Learning to trust the “know that you know” part of you can be a joy. It is a simple shift in language. Instead of calling yourself a procrastinator, ask yourself if the word incubator may apply to you.
We are all enough. As high performers we are hard on ourselves but to what purpose? Maybe that will be the topic for next week. Do you need a negative voice to motivate you? Stay tuned. I need to go incubate this.